An Open Letter to ABC Television

Update!!! It's all over... Read HERE!!!

Update!!! Sign the petition HERE!!!
I never do things like this. I especially love Creator Fred Goss at #3 with the comment "This is the best show I've ever made." Sign up your whole family!

Regarding the Wonderfully Funny Show You Are About to Axe:
"Sons & Daughters" (HERE)

(Check why this show is insane at http://www.treeofnuts.com/)

I hate getting involved with new television shows, because anything worth watching needs time to build an audience. Otherwise we could all just watch a giant breast move back and forth across the screen. (the movement would be the plot device) Of course watching "Sons & Daughters," was easy, no one could watch this show for more than five seconds without nestling their fleshy cheeks in for a siesta in front of the Tube. (That was awkward, I meant that it was a funny show. Sorry.) This show didn't need my support, it was gonna be a ratings snowball, rolling at a faster, faster, faster pace, reaching breakneck speeds towards...a Comedy Home Run, Goal? (something like that)

Sadly, apparently they put the show on during the that ill-fated month of March, which is filled with "Free Money, Sex and Drugs Tuesdays" at Walmart, which I think lasts until at least 10PM. The moral of the story? ABC, please let this show grow, don't give up on it just because people would rather go to Walmart and get coked up while having sex with the door greeter than watch it. You just need to put it on a safe night for a few weeks. Hold on, let me check the Wallmart schedule.... Okay, how about Wednesday at 8 or 8:30? Walmart only has a Chiwawa giveaway that night. (Chiwawa = Comedy) Bump Freddie "Chico and the Man Jr." off for a few weeks, 12 year old girls should be doing their homework anyway not thinking impure thoughts about the man who gives hope to Keanu Reeves!! Put it on then and I guarantee, instant "Seinfeld"-like longevity. You young ABC producers will be swimming in Champagne and really expensive other liquid, that you would like and want, but can't have now, because even as a big TV guy, it's expensive for that much of that stuff! (Come On, It's Imported!)

Seriously, much love to the whole show! Shout out to the cool, talky neurotic, wrote himself in as the lead producer actor guy, His weird artsy son, ethical dumb nephew, talky niece with braces, hot wife, the super passive aggressive mom, karmically challenged (most likely a goth as a teenager) sister, singing hottie loserbait sister, incredibly dense thespian brother-in-law, cute kids who will grow three years each season (or not, I guess Damn), funny drunken ex of hottie singer and his mini me, and of course the greatly missed Poppa, Sargent Wojohowitz, who needs praise from no man!!! People, you made something great!!! Please be proud and let me know if you find a way back to the airwaves. Damn You ABC!!!!!!!

Yours Truly,
Jared Lucas Nathanson
http://www.stuffdaddy.blogspot.com/

P.S. The Hot Wife is also funny!

"V for Vendetta" Review By Distraction

An Open Letter to The New Yorker and "Film Lover" DAVID DENBY

My letter to the New Yorker. refering to this review:(HERE)


Dear Big City Folks,

Regarding David Denby's review of "V for Vendetta" Posted 2006-03-13.

Well, at least I'm entertained. Film criticism seems to be becoming a wondrously bizarre effort to merge sophisticated taste and observation with a genuine disgust for epic grandeur, high drama or allegorical storytelling. I find movie reviews are more often filled with the Hollywood back story and the political intrigue of film production than real criticism.

It's hard to discern whether some critics have actually viewed the movie in question. It's my guess that those that have might be easily distracting themselves by the pale glowing light of their electronic phone/computer/notepad of choice, in which they may be furiously jotting and scribbling witty thoughts, points of critique and one liners, lavishing the object with more attention than they did on the girl they first took to the back of the balcony during that showing of American Graffiti back in '73.

The Love of film for poor Mr. Denby seems a jaded love, far too polished with the bitterness of endless viewings, the contempt of sinking standards and the somberness of a weary prostitute for whom sex is a chore and sensuality is a lie. Does a film hold no joy within its own context for Mr. Denby? Is each film just a sad minion in a line of thousands he will view each year?

Your reviewer lavishly spends time expounding on the history of the overly praised graphic novel and Alan Moore's Thatcherism paranoia. He bemoans the intellectual hypocrisy of Guy Fawkes as a cultural icon for the embodiment of rebellion and exposes obvious and supposedly criminal similarities to Orwell's "1984." He points righteously to the clearly random or at least backward design of any modern political references that those silly Matrix Boys imply and condemns the bankrupt moralities of this "dunderheaded pop fantasia that celebrates terrorism and destruction."

As a question, "Thank you Mr. Denby, but how was the Movie?" seems as pointless as asking Mrs. Lincoln whether or not she enjoyed the play.

As for the actual movie in question, we do learn that Hugo Weaving "is merely formal and condescending" in comparison to James Mason's acid wit, which someone forgot to mention to Mr. Denby has long since departed this realm of existence with its owner.

We learn that "The movie has an elaborate visual design." (Ok, he liked the look.)

Mr. Denby notes that "V jumps out of the darkness, and his mask—mocking and immobile—spooks us every time.....The violent passages, with steel knives flying through the air and turning end over end, are as uncanny and beautiful as similar scenes in The Matrix." (Ok, he liked the action.)

"There's a big drop in excitement every time V and little Evey discuss life and art in the shadow gallery, but, all in all, James McTeigue seems just as skilled as the Wachowskis in putting together a large-scale movie." (Ok, he didn't like the 'talky bits,' as much as he liked the 'fighty bits' but it worked regardless.)

So what does Mr. Denby think of the movie? Past the gratuitous exposition, through the flimsy but positive film critique, Mr. Denby lets us know there never was a chance to begin with because "there's no getting around the fact that this allegedly antifascist work lusts after fire and death."

Well, as I said, I'm entertained. Not only by the way your film reviewer skates completely away from film criticism and into the world of high-minded morality, but by his ability to so twist film critique as to leave it devoid of any passion for film itself. Like the Joan Rivers of reviewers, he's standing outside the theater complaining about the director's fat butt.

Has ego become so entangled with critique that the review has become a vessel for the judgments of vulgar and loveless killjoys, so they can spread disdain and indifference for anything less bold then Fassbinder or Bergman?

Only a "literal-minded prig" like Mr. Denby would know for sure.

Yours Sincerely,
Jared Lucas Nathanson
"Film Lover"